A couple, a couple . . . mmmmm, a mom and dad

(I don't know why, but every time I think of this post, that quote from All Dogs Go to Heaven pops into my brain. So there it is.)

You know, I only put the question about pets in the survey because Betsy suggested it. I never imagined you all are devious enough to pick that one. This is why I like you people--you dish back just as much as I dish out.

Everyone who knows me well enough knows my absolute distaste for pets, especially dogs and cats. Before I get any posts about how dogs are great companions and wonderful protectors and they make you age better and blah blah blah . . . I know all those things are true, and I don't want a dog.

They're messy. They shed. They lick you. They poop everywhere, even outside where they're supposed to poop. But most importantly, dogs require love from their owners and I have yet to love a dog so it's therefore completely unfair for someone like me to own a dog.

For cat owners--cats are evil and only love their owners. See my response above, only multiplied a million times because cats are devilish creatures that regurgitate in your shoes when you leave on vacation. Dogs wonder what they did to make you leave, cats vow to make you wish you'd never returned.

I had to start thinking about what pet I could get, something that didn't require me to either (1) love it like I would a human, and (2) clean up after it. That threw out a monkey (sad), gerbil, hamster, ferret (some day I'll tell you the story of our family dog killing a ferret and how awful that was), chicken, turtle, snake (could you imagine?!), mouse, horse, and lizard.

Here's what I came up with: saltwater fish, in a fish tank. They'd be my SaltwaterFishInTheTank pet. Now, why did I choose saltwater fish (in the tank)? Because their quality of life wouldn't depend on my love for them; they're exceptionally mesmerizing to watch; and I recently learned people, for a living, will maintain your tank for you! Amazing and awesome. Frivolously expensive, but this is your dream, voters.

Also, I like to imagine SaltwaterFishInTheTank pets are just as nice as they seem in Finding Nemo.

I'm here because I'm bored!

I still am drawing blanks on posts, but don't worry--I will be posting shortly about the pet I could possibly ever, with much coaxing, tears, and valid arguments, bring into my house (I can't believe you picked that one!). ;)

But to tide you over until then, here's a hilarious video my sister showed me. I do enjoy Minesweeper. Where would we be without it? What would we do while passing the time at work, or waiting on hold or for something to print or for people to get ready to leave, or . . .. It's a great video.

Nada nada lemonada

I can't think of anything to post about. Nothing. (As you can tell by my previous entry.) But my friend Betsy (hi Betsy!) said I should write a new post, and do a poll about the subject of my next post. Asked and answered.

There's a poll on the side--if you don't like any of my random suggestions, make a comment and suggest your own. We'll see what zany things you want me to dump from my brain.

Picture from http://www.chromasia.com/galleries/0512282027.php.

How awesome is that picture?!

Things that make you go "hmmmm" . . . or, "ha!"

I love funny quotes. I kinda collect them so I can set them as my Google Chat statuss (stati?). Here are my favorite ones from 2008.

I took the picture to the right in Juneau. The tiny print at the bottom says, "The city made me post this."

"The winter Olympics are like a liberal with a baseball bat: you may not like him, but you have to respect him." -Bucky Katt, Get Fuzzy

On the Twilight series: "I'm not going to defend them any more than I'm going to defend Twinkies--you go and get yourself a Twinkie when you have a very specific kind of craving. If you want gourmet pastry, or even a homemade cake, you know where to get that. If you're eating a Twinkie, you clearly know what you want and why you're eating it, and you know that it's not good to eat very many of them, but... you know... sometimes you just want one." -cleolinda.livejournal.com/

"Is there anything more comforting than Lennie Briscoe, Sam Waterston's eyebrows and the soothing CHUN CHUN of justice?" -GoFugYourself.com

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Winnie the Pooh

"NObama. You can keep the change." -Some guy's shirt at Art in the Park (it was funnier in October)

"Government: If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions." -Despair.com

"You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you, because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever." -The Joker

"I'm talkin' about flying Twinkies and you're worried about a string? What are you, a cat?" -Get Fuzzy

"A taxpayer voting for Barack Obama is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders." -RightWingNews.com

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." -Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

"Brother Rat's House O' Redemption: The more that I'm given, The more you're forgiven." -Pearls Before Swine

"Boring Bella...generally just repeats herself ad nauseum about how Edward's face/chest/voice/muscles/eyes/lips/piano talent/strength/secret macrame projects are more beautiful and perfect than anything in the human realm." -GoFugYourself.com

"After losing Prop 8 in California, gay supporters of the bill went on a rampage and proved that they're actually much less tolerant of differing opinions than the Christians they're always lecturing about tolerance." John Hawkins at townhall.com

What's the funniest quote you read in 2008?