You know, I only put the question about pets in the survey because Betsy suggested it. I never imagined you all are devious enough to pick that one. This is why I like you people--you dish back just as much as I dish out.
Everyone who knows me well enough knows my absolute distaste for pets, especially dogs and cats. Before I get any posts about how dogs are great companions and wonderful protectors and they make you age better and blah blah blah . . . I know all those things are true, and I don't want a dog.
They're messy. They shed. They lick you. They poop everywhere, even outside where they're supposed to poop. But most importantly, dogs require love from their owners and I have yet to love a dog so it's therefore completely unfair for someone like me to own a dog.
For cat owners--cats are evil and only love their owners. See my response above, only multiplied a million times because cats are devilish creatures that regurgitate in your shoes when you leave on vacation. Dogs wonder what they did to make you leave, cats vow to make you wish you'd never returned.
I had to start thinking about what pet I could get, something that didn't require me to either (1) love it like I would a human, and (2) clean up after it. That threw out a monkey (sad), gerbil, hamster, ferret (some day I'll tell you the story of our family dog killing a ferret and how awful that was), chicken, turtle, snake (could you imagine?!), mouse, horse, and lizard.
Here's what I came up with: saltwater fish, in a fish tank. They'd be my SaltwaterFishInTheTank pet. Now, why did I choose saltwater fish (in the tank)? Because their quality of life wouldn't depend on my love for them; they're exceptionally mesmerizing to watch; and I recently learned people, for a living, will maintain your tank for you! Amazing and awesome. Frivolously expensive, but this is your dream, voters.Also, I like to imagine SaltwaterFishInTheTank pets are just as nice as they seem in Finding Nemo.
8 comments:
I LOVE it Jen! I kind of feel the same way you do about pets. Bryson and I got a dog shortly after getting married...not because I wanted her!! I make comments all the time about not really liking her!
However, about a month ago she turned up missing and to be honest I have found that I actually liked that dog more than I thought I did! I REALLY, REALLY miss her! Not enough to get another one though! About a week later Bryson had another dog picked out (he really misses our dog) and I BEGGED him NOT to get it! We are still dogless...thank goodness! The only dog I want is our old one!
I am glad there is someone out there who feels the same way I do about pets. I have pretty much come to the same conclusion you have, if I must have a pet it will be a fish.
hahahaha! You are so my opposite on the dog thing. Though granted, I could live w/o the poop :)
Great Post Jen! Also..i could see you having a hibernating tortoise somewhere in your backyard.
darn blogger....first i accidentally posted my comment twice, and then it indicated that i had deleted a comment. I'm posting this follow-up just so everyone knows that my deleted post didn't get redacted due to swearing, nudity, or mature content :)
(i save that stuff for e-mail only)
Jen, I am totally with you on the cats. I could never own a cat...ever!!! Yes, dogs are definiely only for those willing to put forth the committment.
I like your pet pick...salt water fish thing! I could totally see you handeling that!!
That's awesome. I had no idea that you could get people to actually maintain your tank for you! After watching my dad take care of his for all those years, that's definitely the way to go. If you decide you want some fresh water fish, you can have the ones our nephew gave us for Christmas. Man, those things are a pain!
I never really understood why people hated cats until I had to house-sit with one. Cats are evil divas! That thing was always sneaking to the exact places where I didn't want her bare butt to be- on my purse, the kitchen counter, my pillow, in front of the computer monitor when I was typing... the list goes on. Maybe I could handle the idea of pets a bit better if they wore pants.
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